Between Today and Tomorrow

I find myself living each day both as if there might not be a tomorrow and also as if there will be thousands more. It's a strange existence right now.

All the time and energy I spent planning and thinking about the future seems so silly to me now, but even so, I find my thoughts drifting to coming milestones in life I still hope to experience. I think about my daughters firsts (loves, cars, weddings, kids), my career, even the next time I dance with my wife in the living room, and so many other things. But I am well aware that there are no guarantees.

I now find myself waking each and every morning with the first thoughts of sincere gratitude for having emerged from my sleep for one more day. I actually get excited just by waking up. What a great way to wake up! My nightly prayers always include (verbal or not) a thankfulness for another day and the humble request for one more. I am living one day at a time, and there's something liberating about that. Literally trusting God for my next breath relieves so much worry and stress knowing that He is in control.

Frankly, I wouldn't want it any other way. I do wish I could have gained this perspective without the drama of the last several weeks. But even so, maybe I'll find myself thankful even for this experience...given time.