One week ago, at this time, I had no idea what was in store for me that coming evening. It has been a week since the terrible event, but there have been so many good and wonderful things happen since then.
The people bringing food, calling, stopping by, taking care of my family (even things for the kids here and there), it's incredible. I have never been in a position to receive such concern and love and care, and it's humbling. To let go of the control I thought I had over my life and accept the generosity of others has been very hard for me. I've always valued taking care of oneself and not needing help, but God is crushing that spirit of pride in my heart and I'm so happy he is.
I've noticed a few more "coincidences" since coming home continue to solidify my belief that God really does have his hand on this whole thing.
In the last few days, sitting at home, I've had the opportunity to really reflect on what's important and not. As a result, I've been cleaning up some stuff online. For example, I've deleted a lot of my bookmarks (things I thought I wanted to read, explore, etc... but now hold no interest for me). This site used to be a blog about silly things, now it's more focused with zero stress or schedule. As I started building this page I included some things about myself that distracted from the story that would glorify God in all of this. I started feeling a twinge of something I couldn't explain, so I prayed for guidance, submitting myself once again to God's will and asking him to point out anything in my heart that needs fixing (no pun intended). I felt a strong lead in my heart to make this site super simple and focused. So, with only the briefest hesitation from the old me, I did what I believed God was leading me to do. This morning, the verse of the day was: "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-34 (That's exactly the prayer I prayed yesterday and obeyed.)
Another observation from this morning's blood glucose reading. I came in a little high and needed to do a little physical activity. It's cold outside and my toe is injured (it got a little mangled by the dash of the helicopter when I was sent up for surgery a week ago, but it's healing nicely). Suffice to say, strapping on a pair of shoes and walking the neighborhood isn't a good idea right now. However, due to the fact that our house was flooded that night, and is now on the road to repair, the living room/dining room are now completely empty, I have a small indoor walking track on soft carpet - meaning I can still walk (even barefoot) without further damaging my toe. I know this may seem like a silly/small thing, but taken in context with everything else that is happening, I still point to God for orchestrating it all...even the little silly things.
I am only one of God's children, nothing special or more loved than any other of God's children. To see him so faithful in even the smallest details is nearly unbelievable. Who am I that the God of creation would do this for me?
"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And, not one of them is forgotten before god. Why even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows." - Luke 12:6-7